ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
