woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
