we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
