Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
