so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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