omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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