I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish they made helmets for livers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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