what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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