im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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