I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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