operation harelip BJ is a go
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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