you guys were way drunker than both of me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
