you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
