Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
