you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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