Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
