shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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