ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
