at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
