Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
