Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
