Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
now i know why i became what i already was.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
