Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
