You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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