Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
