Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
