All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
