wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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