You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
