You can't motorboat a personality
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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