Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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