kristin has been a bad kristin
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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