she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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