So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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