There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
