Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
