Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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