It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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