So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
