he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
