I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just pynch a tree in the face
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
