maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
