I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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