pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
