I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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