I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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