I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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