Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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