I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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