redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
