Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
