whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Randomize
