what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
