We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
