you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
