I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
